Sunday, June 4, 2017

Respectful Parenting, Electronics System Theory, and Faith

Inspired by the Sara’s recent post about respectful parenting +Happiness is here vis-à-vis Minecraft screen time.  The end analysis there?  Trust your kids, and parent respectfully.

In electrical systems theory, we divide circuits up into two categories, differentiators and integrators.  Differentiators make circuits more sensitive to every little change.  The circuit doesn't miss much, but it might flail around quickly.  Integrators on the other hand cause the system as a whole to be less sensitive to small changes.  Systems with integrators won't respond to a small change, they simply add it to a total response, and wait for more information.  If the changes continue to happen in the same way, ultimately the system will respond, but it takes time and consistency.

This is how I view Sara’s description of handling video game screen time.  I would have been inclined to shutdown all the screens after two days spent exclusively on a video game.  If I'd done this, I wouldn't have given the 'system' of our kids the time to organically respond to their new environment.  By taking a more integrated approach like Sara did, it's easier to see what the system wanted to do for itself, and how it normally behaves without outside influences.

I like the integrating approach better, though it's occasionally difficult to remember to use it when I'm caught up in the moment.  I find myself thinking, 'something's changed, change it back.'  I might also phrase the whole thing with integrators and differentiators in a different way—in terms of faith.  It’s sometimes difficult, but it’s always been helpful for me to have faith that the kids are competent, and are going to figure things out for themselves in a healthy way.  Sure, I can offer advice if they want it, (and I do), but they get the best results, and grow the most, I think, when I’m not involved.

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